By Alyssa Pereira

Do you love sugar? You’re going to love the new Starbucks Frappuccinos!

Never before has there been such a consistent flow of cloyingly sweet beverages masquerading as caffeine-laden uppers. Frankly, we’re not even sure if there is even coffee in any of the new flavors Starbucks unveiled today, but it doesn’t matter — the sugar is driving our hyperactivity anyway. Between the six new flavors, there sure is a lot of it.

Yes, that’s correct. Starbucks has just premiered six new Frappuccino flavors.

In honor of the Frappuccino’s 20th Anniversary, the coffee chain is premiering new combos for the “Frappuccino Flav-Off.” Between June 19 and June 30, Frap fans will be able to vote for their favorite flavor online. The winning drink will then be available in a Grande size for the discounted price of $3 from July 3 – July 6 between 2-5 p.m.

That’s right! Even MORE sugar for you!

The new flavors, which are all already on the “Secret Menu,” include Cotton Candy, Cupcake, Caramel Cocoa Cluster, Red Velvet Cake, Cinnamon Roll, and Lemon Bar.

As you might suspect, some of them taste terrible, but not all of them. Some are even kind of good! That being said, these are not drinks for the weak-hearted (or the diabetic), but we couldn’t leave you out there to fend for your own liver, so we decided to sacrifice ours.

fraps 2 CBS SF

Here are our picks for the worst and the best.

WORST: Cupcake


Ugh, this one is a mess. As one of us so aptly put it, “it tastes like Funfetti batter microwaved and then frozen,” which is about as accurate as it gets. It did taste cupcake-esque, but ultimately, the artificial flavoring overpowered any remotely likable taste.

WORST: Cinnamon Roll


This one sounded the most appealing to many before tasting began. Who doesn’t love cinnamon rolls? No one. They are literally the best food on Earth. Unfortunately, the Cinnamon Roll Frap did not taste like a cinnamon roll at all. There was some spice, but overall, it just did not deliver on the zingyness that makes the classic roll so delicious.

OKAY: Caramel Cocoa Cluster


Shocked to see the caramel cluster on here? So am I, to be honest, but one of our staffers loved this one so much, we decided to boost it up from some of the others. As evidenced by the above photo, it is the best-looking of the bunch, and though there’s actual coffee in this one, it appears as more of a dessert than the others. It’s the most like an actual milkshake, and, in the words of the aforementioned staffer, “it tastes more like something than the others.”

OKAY: Cotton Candy


The rosiest sipper on the list is also one of the biggest surprises: despite its radioactive color, it’s not terrible as it looks. As one staffer (and mom) put it, “this one would be good for kids.” It’s not as sweet as it appears, and actually, doesn’t even taste much like cotton candy. It likens better to a vanilla milkshake or buttery cake frosting, but (if you can believe it), it’s not quite as sweet as most of the others.

BEST: Red Velvet


The Red Velvet Frap is one of the best, but it probably wouldn’t be were it not for the chocolate Frappuccino chunks mixed in with it. They gave it a milkshake-like consistency, and made it taste more like its eponymous flavor than most of the others. The color was a little wonky — it was a little bit darker brown than the one pictured above — but overall, it looked and tasted pretty similar to red velvet cake batter.

BEST: Lemon Bar


When the barista began making this one, I noticed that he was using a shaker. Right off the bat it seemed like the best choice: natural(-ish), refreshing, and laid-back. It appears that there’s some actual lemonade in this one too, which perhaps was a big reason it didn’t taste as overwhelmingly sweet as the others. It was the most refreshing of the bunch, and though the lemon component immediately separated from the cream in the drink, it was by far the tastiest. This is the clear winner!

All images courtesy of Starbucks unless otherwise noted.


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